When Dr. Watson asked me to write an article about a parent’s perspective of having a son deploy to Iraq, my immediate reaction was that it should be easy enough.  After all, we have lots of experience on the issue. Our oldest son, Will, is an Army artillery Captain and is currently on his second deployment to Iraq, and our second son, Jameson, just left for his first deployment as a Marine 2nd Lieutenant.  It was only after I told Sallie about my commitment did I realize that I was on my own on this one.  Having just hugged Jameson good bye, Sallie was in no mood to write about her feelings.

Saying Goodbye

A parent’s emotions are all over the place when a son goes to a combat zone, and the most difficult time is when they leave.  Any time you say goodbye to a child, whether they are going off to college or a long trip, a parent wrestles with the pride of the child’s achievement and the fear caused by the parent’s helplessness of not being able to protect them. As you can imagine, one’s fear is exponentially stronger when a son goes to war. You know that they have the best equipment and training and only a few will experience actual combat, but accidents are inevitable and no matter how careful a soldier may be, he or she can end up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

For some reason, all of our sons’ deployments have occurred in early January.  This is the worst time possible.  It ruins the holidays.  You stay busy with the Christmas and New Year parties, family visits and preparations, but throughout you are in a somber mood.  At the end you realize that you are exhausted and have been in denial about the inevitable departure.  When it is time to say good bye, you are an emotional wreck.

Initial Anxiety

After they are gone, you are initially anxious about what they are doing.  Typically, they fly to Kuwait and spend a few weeks getting their units organized and prepared for their assignment.  The next step is trouble.  They must either caravan or fly into Iraq to their assigned base. All you can think of are snipers, suicide bombers and roadside IEDs. They are not allowed to tell you when they will be traveling or how they will get there. Thus any news of conflict in the newspapers or TV is a concern. Needless to say, you cry with joy when you get the first call from their assigned base.

From that point you begin to get accustomed to the deployment. You are no longer as emotional, although certain songs, such as Toby Keith’s “American Soldier,” will quickly bring back the tears. Slowly you get a better picture of where they are located and their assignment.  You can communicate by email and they can call you by phone. Regular communications are so comforting. In addition, Will has even been able to see his baby boy through the marvels of internet video systems. I can’t imagine what it was like in previous wars without satellite communications and internet. Contrary to previous wars, we rarely write letters because we know that by the time it gets to them, we will have already talked and the news will be old.

An Honor to Serve

Throughout the deployment, our emotions are eased by the knowledge that our sons consider it an honor to serve and are enjoying their commitment. So far, Will’s deployments have been rewarding. He was a junior officer in an artillery company in Tikrit in 2005 and has spent most of 2007 in Ramadi and is currently in the Syrian border town of Rutba. In both instances he has seen significant progress, and he remains committed to our country’s commitment to provide security and order while the Iraqis establish their government. The recent successes in Ramadi have been particularly satisfying. We know less about Jameson’s current deployment. The Marines are typically in more remote locations. Thus we do not expect to have as much communication with Jameson as we have enjoyed with Will. The good news is that the Marines deploy for only about seven months and Jameson will be getting married in September after he returns.  No doubt planning a wedding will keep us busy.

Support and Prayers

There is no question that the support and prayers from friends, family and churches nationwide sustain us. We gain strength from prayer and readings in Psalms, especially Psalm 91 and Ephesians 6:10-18 (the armor of God).  In the final analysis, through all of the emotions, Sallie and I are most comforted by our faith that God has a plan for our sons and whatever may happen to them, it will be His will. Likewise we know that Will and Jameson live through the power of the Lord. Everything that they do is for His glory and believing that they are in God’s hands is the ultimate comfort for a parent.